I'll keep you my dirty little secret (Dirty little secret)
Don't tell anyone or you'll be just another regret (Just another regret, hope that you can keep it). My dirty
“Dirty Little Secret” The All-American Rejects
My experience could be described as a mixture of Mission Impossible, Covert Affairs, Titanic, and Days of Our Lives. In short, a mess. But what an incredibly exciting mess it was.
Growing up, one of my bucket list items was not "have an affair". After I met Tina and knew she was the woman I'd been waiting to meet since the moment I was first named, it was surprising how quickly my morals, ethics, and standards went flying right out the window. We both had a wild streak - hers easily seen, mine always under the surface. Being around Tina brought my wild streak out because I knew that no matter how wild my streak was, it would never scare her and it would never be larger than hers. She was a constant challenge to keep up with and I loved every minute of it.
I've always loved spy movies with their cloak-and-dagger intrigue as the hero tried to not only stay one step ahead of the villain but to run circles around him, enjoying the fact that the villain had not a clue where the hero was or what he was up to. There might be suspicion but no way to prove anything. The villain in this case was Sunshine's husband who proved day after day what a dick he was by the way he mistreated her but also how he didn't deserve a woman like her. Sunshine's husband was my constant source of amusement, my new hobby, driving him crazy by keeping him wondering what we were doing, but mostly by his futility in proving anything was going on between us. We were sneaky and good at being sneaky. The danger of being discovered always fed our drug of choice - adrenaline. We were almost discovered so many times but every time we managed to avoid discovery by one of Sunshine's eyelashes.
Sunshine and I loved the skulking around in the dark, discovery nearly around every corner. Our late-night rendezvous at any number of locations, our secret signs in public, our phone conversations after her husband had gone to work and her kids to bed. Being the "other man" was thrilling, knowing it was me she really wanted to be with because she wouldn't go through all this effort for any other man than me. An ego boost to be sure.
Being Sunshine's undercover lover didn't come without it's downside because I felt many times as though I was also her dirty little secret - a man she couldn't talk about because she might say too much and our affair would be revealed. So many life moments I wanted to share with her I couldn't because discovery meant and end to our relationship and not because her husband would have found out about us but her family, her friends, her church. Being Sunshine's dirty little secret was a gamble and risk I was willing to take because I knew if she got divorced, the way was paved for a happily ever after for us.
Until the day came when the villain did the unthinkable and damn near killed her because of her dirty little secret. The problem with driving a villain crazy is that they can do crazy and violent things in response. And that's when the mess began.
Experience the Sunshine Affair series at Amazon.com. Get Sunshine: Diary of An
Eric Simmons is one of the two essential figures of The Sunshine Affair series. His journals turn his real-life experiences into a novelized version of the events Simmons lived. This blog provides insight on The Sunshine Affair series from this unique perspective.